JANUARY 2013: My agent informs me that he has found a publisher for my manuscript and that the book will appear in autumn.

FEBRUARY 2013: Our son is born.

FEBRUARY 2013: I discover something which makes my world completely fall apart. I feel a grief I could not have thought possible.

MARCH 2013: Hôtel de Nice, Paris. Margot tells me she does not love me anymore. End of a life.

MARCH 2013: I need to take control over my body again, I'm restless. I take my first dance class at the Gessnerallee in Zürich. I need to dance. I feel calm again.

APRIL 2013: I become sixty-five and retire. But I still want to do a great deal and not just sit round twiddling my thumbs or enjoy life purely for myself.

MAY 2013: I sit at a table with my father. He looks at me for a long time. Finally he asks indignantly: "Who are you?"

JUNE 2013: I am touring with a show which visits Istanbul at the time of the Taksim Square protests. I visit the site of resistance. I am thrilled and overwhelmed when I enter Gezi Park. I feel I am in a new utopia.

JULY 2013: I fulfil my childhood wish of learning to ride a horse.

AUGUST 2013: The number of my favourite men doubles from one to two.

SEPTEMBER 2013: I come fourth in a thoroughly insignificant triathlon competition. I am filled with pride at having achieved something.

SEPTEMBER 2013: I start studying in Zurich. My new flatmates and I take full advantage of our new independence: friends come round, we eat together, drink and talk a lot, every night for two weeks.

OCTOBER 2013: For two months my son and I have been living alone. My daughter will be of age when she returns from Canada in a year’s time. The pain of the separation from my husband gradually eases.

DECEMBER 2013: The Welsh mountains envelope me. I fall behind and stare at the green, yellow and reddish coloured hills and the grey sky. Who am I, here, without others?